My Long Frustrating Battle With
Infertility
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| photo credits:emed.com.au |
Like many young newlyweds, my
husband and I didn’t want children at first. As a matter of fact, we did
everything we could to prevent it. But, after five years of marriage, we knew
the time had come – we were ready.
With a bit of arrogance (after all,
we never thought we couldn’t conceive), we jumped headlong into the quest to
get pregnant. Only it didn’t happen. Why? We wondered after several months.
Sure, by now I was in my mid-30’s, but I was healthy and strong and had never
had any indication that getting pregnant would be a problem once I decided that
I was ready for a family.
What should have been easy suddenly
became very, very difficult. Being the goal oriented couple we are, my husband
and I found it especially difficult to find ourselves on the losing end of our
quest. We had never failed at anything before, and let me tell you that this
was not something we were prepared to fail at! So we kept trying … and trying …
and trying….
Sex was now just that – sex with a
purpose. Done when my temperature dictated, it had become a means to an end result,
lacking the excitement and the passion it had once held for us.
After more than a year of
frustration our relationship began to feel the strain. I was moody and
short-tempered, often on the verge of tears. I couldn’t bear to watch other
women’s pregnant bellies grow while mine remained an empty tomb. My every
thought revolved around what I was (or had done) wrong. What was wrong with me?
Why couldn’t I do what every other woman could accomplish so easily?
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